(AU) Daily Life: Kazuma and his P-P-P-Party!
by DragonOfGem
Summary: Taking place right after the end of season 2 of the anime; witness an entirely different story direction of which it's just Kazuma and his party living their daily life in this wonderful world. Whether it be Kazuma and his party playing video games, or them swapping bodies with each-other, what journeys await Kazuma and his friends in these new series of adventures...(I want S3...)
1. I - The Mysterious Package

**DISCLAIMER:** _ **I do not own any of the franchises I mention and reference in the entirety of this fan fiction, and this goes for every other fan fiction I have on this profile as well. I'm doing this merely for entertainment purposes, and because I adore the series that I am writing a fanfiction for. All franchises/series that are stated in this fan fiction belong to their respective companies and well...someone like me would never own these great franchises.**_

 _ **How was that guys? Was that cool? I sounded like someone mature and important, and knew what they were talking about!**_

 _ **Y-You don't care...? W-Well I understand...just don't get bored of this and not read the fan fiction at all...pretty please!?**_

 _ **So the timing for this fanfiction...why don't we say it takes place right after the defeat of Hans? At least, I like to think that's a good starting point, at least the second season of the anime ended there. I've only read the LN up until Volume 6, so I might make several references towards Volume 5.**_

 _ **Also first Konosuba fanfic, and I made this because well...I wish there were more to read, and I love this series so much.**_

"K-Kazuma-san! Can you please turn the fireplace on...!? Aqua begged, as she watched Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness relax on the couch listlessly watching _A Certain Magical Index_ on their brand new television.

"Can't. Busy doing important stuff here." He responded, putting his arms behind the couch-not even trying to hide the fact that he was being lazy. It has been a year since Kazuma had met his tragic (so humorous, it's sad) death, and ended up in this new world. Throughout this time, Kazuma had been able to get better at making things from Japan, and with the help of Vanir, a former Devil King general, he was able to successfully create something that he has missed besides gaming on his P.C.

A television.

Kazuma has never been so glad to finally have built something that he can fully be proud of. Whenever he comes home from a horrible day of doing quests (and potentially dying...fifty percent of the time), he just thinks about how he can just watch anime on his new T.V until possibly 5:00am in the morning. Well, technically you could say the TV belongs to everyone, but Kazuma views it as his television because he believes he put the most effort towards it, and would beat up anyone else in the mansion if they said otherwise-specifically a certain self-proclaimed goddess.

"Busy!? W-Why the hell is watching some dumb anime important!?" Aqua retorted, by flailing her arms angrily. In response, Kazuma turned his head, swiftly.

"Dumb anime!? Of course someone with your intelligence would say something as foolish as that. _A Certain Magical Index_ is a show filled with quality, action, and a main character with actual balls!" Kazuma snapped, as he clenched his fist triumphantly. Ironically however, up until today, Kazuma didn't give a rat's ass about _A Certain Magical Index,_ and probably wouldn't have if it wasn't for getting his television a few days ago. Because of that, he's been willing to get into any anime due to having a prolonged time of not watching any.

He turned back to watch the screen. He, along with Megumin and Darkness were watching the last episode of season 1 of which _Kamijou Touma_ was fighting against _Sherry Cromwell_ , and is about to give his speech and finish her off.

Kazuma started to tear up. "I knew there was hope for main protagonists these days...Finally showing the true colors of gender equality. They grow up so fast..."

Darkness interjected. "It's quite true Aqua! This show is quite amazing! Every time the main character is about to punch a female, I imagine Kazuma and I in those respective roles and I...and I..." She was starting to blush and shake, and not in a disgusted way.

Kazuma's tears instantly dried up.

"Oi, I don't want to imagine what goes on in your head..." He said in disgust.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!"

"I'm Kazuma-" He looked at the source of the voice, which was Megumin. "-what do you want?"

"I like this show too! I really enjoy when the character Stiyl Magnus is on screen; he creates fiery like explosions, and it's awesome! Although, I don't really like it when it switches over to the science side that much...it should just be full on magic!" Megumin happily chimed in.

Kazuma stared at her with half-lidded eyes.

"Of course you would say that…"

" _I can't believe I got these idiots into this show...it was definitely a mistake."_ It wasn't that Kazuma had a problem with watching anime with people socially. Hell, he didn't even mind watching anime with Megumin and Darkness, he would just appreciate the former not making such controversial statements, and the latter not making any statements at all.

Aqua finally couldn't take their banter anymore. "Aww, jeez, can someone just flick the fireplace switch on please? It's way too cold in here…" She said, grasping her arms in an attempt to warm herself up, and she was even wearing her warm pajamas. Not only were Kazuma and Vanir able to produce a television; they also created built in electricity within the mansion.

Now using Kazuma's tracksuit as firewood would never come up again.

"Well I mean...I don't mind getting up-" Just as Megumin was about to get up, Kazuma rested his left arm down to prevent Megumin from getting up.

"Don't Megumin! It's a trap! You shouldn't stoop down to Aqua's level of laziness!" He pleaded.

"But Kazuma, I actually don't mind turning on the fire-" Kazuma put his finger to her lips, in order to cease her talking.

"Don't you get it!? This is a tough time in poor Aqua's life…" He put his arm to his eyes, to prevent Megumin from seeing himself crying, despite how obvious it was.

"Can't you see?" He sniffed. "She has to overcome this cruel hurdle all by herself, without anyone's help. Don't you see how tragic it is? She has to prove to us that she can walk five steps to the fireplace switch and flick it on, in order to gain the heat, she so desperately desires."

The story was so sad and filled with pity, that it was even starting to get Megumin to cry.

"I-I can't believe it...I-I'm sorry Kazuma, I feel so selfish...I was going to flick that switch for her...without even realizing the full truth…" She sobbed. Kazuma, out of sympathy rubbed her back, as he knows how scary the truth can be sometimes.

"That's right, you amazing arch-wizard who should really excel in some other magic spell besides explosion magic which is preventing you from being the only other competent member of the party besides myself."

Megumin thought it would be best to ignore Kazuma's words, after the word "wizard".

Kazuma continued. "You're not that selfish to want to tarnish Aqua's supposed status as a goddess right?"

Megumin shook her head in disgust. "N-Never! I would never want to do that! Although...I have my doubts about it-"

"Of course you do! You're smar-I mean…" Kazuma clears his throat. "So it's important that we don't help her at all."

They both nodded, and they looked over to Aqua.

"I'm sorry Aqua, for everything…" Megumin apologized. Aqua, in response, stomped her foot five times on the ground.

"Y-You guys are totally ganging up on me! Me! A beautiful and amazing goddess!" Aqua accused.

Never in his life has Kazuma wanted to laugh so hard at such a claim.

"Umm well, I could go and turn on the fireplace. I feel like this would solve everyone's problem." Darkness suggested.

Kazuma, Megumin and Aqua both glared at her.

"You stay out of this Lalatina!" They all said in unison. In response Darkness's face became flustered out of the embarrassment of her real name.

"S-Stop it! Y-You know how much I hate that name!" She cried.

"Fine...I'll do it...sheesh…" Clearly irritated, Aqua angrily walked over to the fireplace. As she was doing that, she could clearly hear both Kazuma and Megumin chuckle to themselves, and when she looked over to them, they immediately went back to their faces of empathy.

"That's it Aqua! Flick that switch!" He cheered.

"We believe in you!" Megumin added. Kazuma gave Megumin a thumbs up and she returned with one as well. It was nice for a change to have Megumin on his side to gang up on Aqua after all the times Aqua had teased him. Especially regarding the "Excalibur" incident, of which Kazuma still hasn't gotten his revenge for.

If he was going to live with these girls for potentially the rest of his life, he has to at least get on one of them on his side. And who else, but the most level headed person of the party? Trying to form a bond with Aqua and Darkness would prove be a bit more difficult-more so the former than the latter.

"Ugh…" As she flicked on the fireplace, which honestly took way longer of a process than it should, the doorbell had rung.

"I'll go get it!" Darkness quickly got up to go get the door, as clearly she was the only one who was willing to do it.

It was quite the sight to see Darkness the only one on the ball here.

"Good even...ing?" When she opened the door, Darkness didn't see anyone outside the mansion at all, despite the doorbell being rung. It was quite the rainy day; showers have been going on ever since this morning, which is why Kazuma and his party had decided to not go out today to see if there was any quests in the guild to do. Although, it was less likely to happen even if it wasn't showering due to Kazuma and Aqua's insistence on staying in their 'safe haven' all-day.

"That's strange…" Darkness looked back and forth, and still saw no trace of a person ever being there.

"The doorbell rung, but no one is outside? The "Hey it's me" scam isn't in place here right? I'm positive I heard it ru-" Darkness interrupted herself when she looked down at her feet, and what she found was a package. She found it strange, because she doesn't believe anyone in the mansion had ordered anything, at least she knew that she hadn't ordered anything.

Normally when it comes to packages being delivered here in Axel, a person would be here to deliver the package, and make sure the package was received-never has someone came here, and simply left the package on the doorstep, without making sure the package was even received.

Of course, there is the possibility of Kazuma secretly ordering something for the benefit of satisfying his manly urges, but if that were the case then he would've offered to get the package first, and make sure no one else saw it. And she knows Megumin and Aqua wouldn't have ordered something in secret, obviously they would have mentioned something, given their more open personalities in contrast to Kazuma.

"Hmm…" She with all her might lifted up the package; it wasn't as heavy as she was expecting, and closed the door with her foot. She walked back into the living room, and found that Aqua had taken her spot on the couch; sitting with her legs crossed, watching whatever anime Kazuma had decided to put on next.

"I wanna watch _Noragami_!" Aqua declared. "I want to watch an actual cool and hot god, fight monsters, instead of a dumb shut in pedo-NEET, who keeps calling me useless!"

"So, Megumin, what do you want to watch? I can see you probably into the shoujo genre or something like that." Kazuma asked, completely ignoring Aqua's statement. He would retort back, but she wasn't worth the effort.

"Waahh! Kazuma-sama, I'm sorry! I went too far! I really wanna watch something!" She sobbed, grasping onto Kazuma's tracksuit; causing her tears to fall all over him.

"Stop it! Stop it! Alright fine, you win! Stop crying on my tracksuit! We'll watch whatever the hell you just said!" Kazuma cried out.

"Yay! Thank you hiki-NEE-I mean Kazuma!" Aqua yanked the T.V. remote out of Kazuma's hands, and due to Aqua's crying he was forced to grab his tracksuit and shake off all the tears that she had gotten on him. For someone who had only cried for about 30 seconds, she somehow produced a _massive_ amount of tears. Then again, she was a goddess of water, so it makes some amount of sense-some of the tears had accidentally got onto Megumin, causing her to do the same process.

"Eww...how could Kazuma get his tears on me?" Megumin complained.

"My tears!? You know full well that Aqua was the one crying! And besides, don't blame me! I couldn't help it!" He objected.

" _W-Well, I-I'm glad they have made up, I think?"_ Darkness wondered just how fast Aqua had went from being mad at Kazuma and Megumin to actually getting over it, in the matter of two minutes. Did it have to do with her leaving? Was the reason they were resorted into conflict was because of her presence? Her very existence is the reason that she causes fights among friends?

"K-Kazuma! Kazuma! Kazuma! I need you to let me sit down in my seat, so you and Aqua can fight again!" Darkness requested, shaking nervously with a blushing face. Kazuma looked behind the couch, and gave her a skeptical look.

"W-What? You want us to fight? I mean, considering it's her, it's inevitable but...what's gotten into you?" Kazuma wasn't exactly sure what she was thinking about, and frankly he was both curious and uneasy.

"Ah, Darkness, who was at the door?" Megumin asked. After hearing Megumin's words, Darkness quickly got out of her perverted state.

"Umm, surprisingly there was no one at the door when I checked." Darkness answered.

"What? Are you positive?"

"Yes I am. Actually, the only thing I found at the door was a pack-"

"Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" Aqua quickly pounced off the couch, and staggeredly jetted towards Darkness, and snatched the package out of her hands. Aqua squeezed the package hard; trying to insinuate that it was her, and hers alone.

Both Kazuma and Megumin, rotated their bodies, facing the couch; to look behind and gaze at Aqua, in perplexity and amazement.

"S-She's very possessive when she wants to be." Megumin commented.

"...we've lived with her for almost a year, and it's taken you this long to realize this?" Kazuma responded.

"Oh Darkness! Thank you so much for the gift! You were always my favorite!" Aqua thanked, as she even rubbed her face against the package, with full on blush marks.

"U-Uh actually Aqua, there is no designated name on the package, nor a designated sender either."

"W-What!? There's no way!" Aqua frantically checked all over the package, and Darkness was right, there was no indication of anyone's name on the package.

"So wait, that's suspicious right? Very, _very_ suspicious. First of all, there was no one at the door, and now we have a package with no name on it, be it the recipient or sender?" Megumin queried, as generally this was very concerning. Was someone perhaps stalking them, or was this the work of the Demon King's army?

"N-No way, this can't possibly be anything bad right? If this was sent to me, then this must be important!" Aqua claimed; still insistent on the package being hers.

"What does Kazuma think about this?" Megumin asked, looking at her fellow couch friend.

"Hmm...what does Kazuma think about this? Wait, hold on, I'm Kazuma-what makes you think I know anything about it?" Kazuma wondered.

"Well, usually when it comes to being cautious of our safety, you're usually the main one to propose what we should do. You tend to be very smart about these kind of things." Megumin complimented.

Kazuma surprisingly showed a genuine blush at that comment. "W-What!? Don't be an idiot! S-Sure I may be highly intelligent in comparison to the rest of you but…" As Kazuma was fidgeting with his words, the three girls of the party all started laughing at his expense.

"W-What the hell is so funny? Stop laughing or I'll kill you all!" Kazuma threatened with a red face; clearly not being serious.

Darkness giggled. "Kazuma may be willing to perform savage and lewd acts on us, but when it comes to actual praise, he doesn't know how to function."

"How cute, he's just like a child." Aqua teased.

"S-Shut up, I don't want to hear anything about being a child from you! And what do you mean I perform savage and lewd acts!? Stop ruining my reputation ever further!" Kazuma scolded.

"But seriously, Kazuma, really, what do you think about this? Could it be a trap?" Megumin asked.

"Most likely. Honestly, everything Megumin had said earlier about this situation, is probably what I would've said. Who knows? That package could easily have a bomb inside." Kazuma considered.

"B-B-B-Bomb!?" Aqua stuttered loudly, and immediately like her life depended on it; placed it down on the floor gently, and scattered to the other side of the living room.

"A bomb huh-" Darkness started to vibrate, while blushing. "-hey Kazuma...you don't suppose if we were to open it, it would destroy most of my armor right? That would be amazing right?!"

"O-Oi! It won't just do that you know!" Kazuma yelled.

"K-Kazuma-san! Open it for us! I'm sure nothing bad will happen, and even if you did...you can count on me to save you!" Aqua declared, with a high amount of confidence. Kazuma, upon instinct, clutches the back of the couch, and prepared to rant.

"What the hell!? "Count on me." my ass, no way in hell I'm opening it! Don't use me as some damn guinea pig!" Kazuma argued.

"D-Don't worry! If something happens to you, I can just resurrect you! Simple as that."

"I don't appreciate the fact that you just see me life as expendable as some piece of chewing gum!" Kazuma said.

Aqua looked over to the side, with a nervous smile; scratching her cheek. "Well I mean...you technically have died 4 times already so…"

"Also, I've been wondering this for a while, why is it always me? It could be Megumin or Darkness who could be sacrificed too! Your power of resurrection isn't just limited to me." Kazuma brought up.

"Well, we can't really refute that…" Megumin admitted. He did have a point there; if something were to happen to either her or Darkness, Aqua could just as easily revive them, like she does with Kazuma.

"I especially think Darkness would want to die!" Kazuma called out.

"A-Ahh!" Darkness moaned. "As expected of Kazuma, he would definitely enjoy seeing me hurt, and with my clothes being blown off too!"

"First off-when the hell did I say that? Secondly, what the _hell_ do you people see me as!? You all think I'm some ravaged beast who has no sense of mercy at all! And I didn't even mean it like that-I only said that because if Darkness were to die, she would be able to meet up with Eris-sama."

"Ugh...why would she want to meet up with her? She's already friends with the Goddess Of Water."

" _Self-proclaimed._ " Kazuma taunted internally.

"R-Really? You mean every time Kazuma died, he met up with Eris-sama?" Darkness interjected.

"You didn't know? I could've swore I told everyone that at some point. At least, I'm pretty sure Aqua would've mentioned it."

"So, if Kazuma were to slowly take my clothes off-"

"Wait, what-"

"-and stab me in the heart with his Chunchunmaru-"

"Don't call it that."

"But that's it's name." Megumin added.

"No. Shut up."

"-I could meet up with Eris-sama!?" Darkness asked.

"Why do keep saying such perverted things about me!? The more you say it, the more I am thinking about doing it! And I will!" Kazuma yelled.

"Just shut up Kazuma, and open the damn box!" Aqua snapped.

"Even if I do open it, what if it just doesn't kill me? It could potentially kill all of us, including Aqua! Then there would be no way for any of us to come back!"

The four of them, then had a moment of silence after that sudden realization.

"...I can't believe we didn't take that into consideration." Megumin looked to the side with a nervous smile; completely embarrassed of the _massive_ oversight they had looked over.

"So, let's just pick that package up; launch it outside, and forget that all of this ever happened!" Kazuma announced.

And with that he walked over to the package to pick it up, but Darkness stood in his way.

"Oi...what the hell do you think you are doing? Get out of my way."

"I'm sorry Kazuma, but I am not going to let you get rid of this."

Kazuma could feel a vein about to burst. "Why not?! If we keep this thing around, then surely something troublesome is going to happen!"

"But Kazuma...it is my duty as the crusader of the group to protect the party. So it is my job to see for myself whatever that package is safe or not. I will not let any of my fellow party members be exposed to any danger."

Kazuma wasn't buying what she was saying for a second.

"I-It's true! I am doing this for the safety of us all...I have to make sure I stand guard against the terrifying horrors that are in that thing."

Even Megumin and Aqua weren't buying it.

"U-Umm...well…" As soon as she said those words, Darkness quickly snatched the package, and proceeded to break for it.

"H-Hey! Come back here you perv!" Kazuma jetted after her, leaving Aqua and Megumin a bit stunned.

"W-We should help Kazuma right?" Megumin wondered.

"Nah...he can take care of himself." Aqua said.

Surprisingly Kazuma was able to catch up to Darkness, and to stop her from advancing, he grabbed her shoulders to stop her movement. It was easier said than done, as Darkness was clearly resisting.

"Stop fidgeting and just drop the damn package Darkness!" Kazuma shouted.

"But don't you see Kazuma!? Don't you want to find out what's inside this package!? Aren't you curious to see what twisted and disgusting thing could come out, and plant itself all over my body!? Doesn't that get you curious? Don't you want to see the development!" Darkness proclaimed.

Kazuma started to blush. "S-S-Stop tempting me! And no, I still don't want to! Because once that happens, we are going to have to kill it afterwards, and I am seriously not in the mood!"

"But Kazuma! The possibilities are endless! I could seriously be done for if a bunch of monsters jump out of that thing and proceed to scratch off my clothing, and bite at me until night's end! And then, as the lewd man he is, Kazuma will then stare in delight as he watches this unfold!"

"Stop it! There is no way you are going to convince me to do this! And why is it that every time you fantasize about being attacked you include me in it!" Kazuma barked.

"But I...but I…" She was breathing strangely, and had quite the red face. She was seriously getting turned-on by what thing could come and attack her from within that package.

"Listen Darkness, if you don't drop the package right now, then I will do something to you that will be _far_ worse than what this package could ever _attempt_ to accomplish, and I can assure you I will enjoy every single minute of it!"

Darkness immediately started to imagine the amount of situations Kazuma was willing to put her in-which made her feel more horny.

"A-Ah...Kazuma is willing to do something even far more terrible than what the package will do? J-Just what is he planning to-n-no...I mustn't give in...I mustn't..."

" _You say that...but you stopped resisting once I said it."_ Kazuma thought to himself.

"Could it be...is Kazuma willing to...is he going to…"

"Eh?"

"He's going to show me his excalibur?!" It was as if a dam had broken, and once that was said she had fainted, and fell onto the ground with a thud. She was breathing heavily, with a smile on her face as she was resting on the floor with her hand grasping her chest.

And he looked down at the fallen girl, and while he was irritated with her before, but her resting smile, made him somehow smile as well.

 _"...I can't believe I'm saying this but...why is her being a masochist both horrible but slightly endearing? On second thought...no scratch that last part."_

Kazuma glanced over to his other two party members.

"Umm...I could use some assistance, this pervert over here fainted." Kazuma requested.

Megumin and Aqua both came over to take Darkness away from then waited for her to wake up-which took about thirty minutes.

"W-What happened?" Darkness asked.

"U-Umm..well Kazuma and us have all agreed to get rid of the package and since it's three against one..." Megumin trailed on.

"I-I see...well I won't cause anymore trouble…" Darkness said, a bit sad about not being able to see what was in there.

"Sorry about that Darkness." Aqua apologized.

" _Are they really apologizing because they can't let a masochist get what she wants?"_ Kazuma clearly knew Aqua wasn't bright but he wasn't sure if this was just to piss him off, or if she was really that stupid.

The four of them stood there for a while, and without further ado, each of the members of the party simultaneously went over to the box and each helped pick a corner of it up-despite the fact that the package was easy enough for just one person to carry, and they all walked over to the door. Kazuma was the one to open the door, and they all stood outside the mansion.

"Ready?" Kazuma asked. All of them are nodded.

"1...2...3!" With all of their combined strength-may it be trivial, they all threw the package, surprisingly far, and it landed outside the mansion's gate. It actually landed perfectly-it didn't land upside down; accidentally spilling whatever contents it held.

Kazuma and his party looked over into the gloomy sight of the rain pouring down onto the package. They believed they made the right decision of not opening that package; who knows what could've come out of that thing. It could be precisely what they had said-a bomb-of which could have kill them all in one fell swoop. Perhaps some deadly creature could've come out of there and attempt to kill them all as well. The possibilities of whatever dangerous thing that could've been in that package, are endless-and they made the smart move of playing it safe, and removing it from their possession.

In the end, they avoided any negative thing that could've come out of that package.

Any negative thing…

Negative…

As the four of them stared at the presently soggy package-there was a sudden question that had rose into their minds, that made them question their recent actions.

What if...they were completely wrong about this?

What if…there wasn't actually a bomb in there?

What if...there wasn't anything dangerous at all?

What if...in that package...there was actually something really amazing in there, and they are making the poor choice of abandoning it. After all, they simply _assumed_ that something bad would happen if they opened it-they actually have no real way of confirming whether or not there is something good or bad in that package.

They could be potentially throwing away some mystical genie, that grants them an infinite amount of wishes. And here they are; about to go inside their mansion, while someone else could easily pick up that package, and take whatever amazing thing that is inside it.

They believe what they had done was the smart choice, but their curiosity of whatever is inside that thing, would surely overwhelm them.

"Oi, guys." Kazuma whispered.

"Y-Yeah?" The three of them responded in unison.

"On the count of three, let's run over to that package, and we take it back inside." Kazuma suggested with a smirk, and with a thumbs up.

"Sounds good to me." Said Aqua, giving a thumbs up.

"I agree." Said Megumin, also giving a thumbs up.

"Okay, I'm glad that's all settled. What do you think Darkness-Darkness?"

The three of them had saw that Darkness had vanished.

"Where did she…?" As they looked around, the three of them saw that Darkness was already running towards the package.

"I'm on it Kazuma! I can't wait to see what's inside that precious package! Could it be a tentacle-beast readying to do unknown horrors to me? Or is it slime that's willing to come onto me?! I'm getting excited just thinking about it!" She cried, as she jetted towards the package, and once she saw it, she picked it up and lifted it in the air.

"I did it Kazuma! I obtained it!" Darkness cheered.

"Great job, now hurry back inside!" Once he said that, he, Aqua and Megumin all ran inside the house, followed by Darkness, and she slammed the door, out of anticipation of what the package awaited her.

Subsequently, Kazuma actually checked outside the door to see if anyone had seen the series of events that had happened, and luckily it seemed like no one was watching, so he closed the door again.

-KONOSUBA!-

After all that had happened, it was currently 8:00 p.m. It had been two hours since they had encountered the mysterious package that had appeared at their door. All four of them gathered in a circle, and it was Kazuma who had declared that he would be the one to open the package.

They were all sweating profusely, as potentially opening this box could lead to something extremely dangerous. Out of all them, Darkness was sweating the most, but that was for an entirely _different_ reason.

Kazuma, slowly, tore off the tape that was constricting the package, and all that was left was to take the cover off, and reveal the contents of the package.

He rested his hand on the package, and he was very anxious when it came to opening it.

"G-Go ahead Kazuma, open the package, after all, what is there to lose?" Aqua pointed out. In response, Kazuma, Megumin and Darkness all responded in this order:

"Our lives."

"Our mansion."

"W-What could be inside there? I'm very, _very_ curious!"

Aqua blinked once. "A-Ah...right."

With clammy hands, Kazuma shut his eyes; turned away from the box, and very slowly took the package's top off. Both Megumin and Aqua also shut their eyes in terror of what their impending doom will be. Meanwhile, Darkness was staring at the package with clenched fists, and a nervous smile while blushing.

And once Kazuma had taken the top off completely, he waited a few seconds for whatever possible thing to come out and attack them all.

As those seconds passed, absolutely nothing happened. They waited, one minute, three minutes, five minutes, and eventually the three of the four party members opened their eyes and wondered why the hell they haven't died yet.

"U-Umm...why hasn't the bomb gone off?" Aqua wondered.

"I'm not sure." Megumin asked. "Kazuma, what's in there?"

Kazuma took a peek inside the package; and what he found in there was something he was _not_ expecting in the slightest. And in response to what he had seen, his eyes started to sparkle and a big smile appeared on his face.

"T-This is...I can't believe it! I really can't believe it!" Kazuma blurted out. Aqua and Megumin both looked at each-other with puzzled looks.

"What is it Kazuma? Is it something like a box filled with indecent p-p-panties!?" Darkness exclaimed.

"Well I mean, it's not as good as that, but it's definitely a close second! Oh man! It's been forever since I've seen one of these!" Kazuma said, spinning around; holding the box up.

Aqua marched over to the box; clearly impatient. "Just what's in there that has you happy all of the sudden?" Aqua peered over to see the contents of the box.

"A... _Nintendo 64_?" Aqua said.

"Yes! Of course! It's one of the best classic consoles of all time! I used to play this thing with my younger brother all of the time!"

"But why are you so excited about such an old console? I would much rather prefer something past the 2005 era." Aqua claimed.

"Oi, there's no need to hate on the classics. If it wasn't for them, your precious consoles past 2005 wouldn't even exist." Kazuma reassured her.

"As expected of a shut-in NEET, he would know about such things." Aqua insulted.

"You know what...I'm not even going to retort that." Kazuma was seemingly in a good mood. For starters, he didn't die, and he even got an _N64_ out of opening the package; so even insulting comments from Aqua, wasn't enough to make him mad.

"W-W-Wait hold on- _Ninten...Do64_? Kazuma, Aqua, do you know what this strange device is?" Megumin asked.

"Ah, I guess you and Darkness wouldn't know. This is another thing from my country, just like the television we have. It's called an _Nintendo 64_. It's an old console, that you connect to the television, and play games on it." Kazuma informed. The package was surprisingly filled with everything needed in order to use it; there were cords, four controllers, the console itself, and even two memory paks.

"Oooh! Games? That sounds really fun!" Megumin cheered.

"I was hoping for something indecent and dangerous to come out the package, but perhaps this isn't as bad." Darkness said, of which Kazuma didn't even want to continue on with that train of thought.

Kazuma took the console itself out, and Aqua pointed to where the console's cartridge slot was.

"See this part? It's the _N64'_ s cartridge slot; we put the cartridge inside that slot, and it runs the games that we can play. Although, do we even have any games to play? Also if we do then I get to play it first, and not Kazuma." Aqua protested.

"So, all we have to do is put that thing inside the hole right? And then once we do, something amazing will happen? Darkness smiled; albeit with a red face.

"C-Can you please stop saying suggestive things?" Kazuma cried out.

"To be honest, I feel like I have seen that thing before…" Megumin said.

"What? The _Nintendo 64_? But, that doesn't make any sense…"

"Y-Yeah, but I'm positive I've seen other things like this one, at least, back at my village." The fact that Megumin claimed that she had seen these consoles before was pretty suspicious, and the fact that this thing was even here at all was also suspicious, but Kazuma really didn't care about that at the moment. He looked inside the package to see if there were any cartridges.

Kazuma doesn't really remember much about when he used to have an _N64_ , but he did remember some memorable moments he had with his brother. Together, they would take turns playing all sorts of games with each-other such as: _Super Mario 64_ , _Harvest Moon_ , _Paper Mario_ , _The Legend Of Zelda Ocarina of Time_ , and many others. The best games he used to play with his brother were definitely the ones which multiplayer was the game's main selling point. He remembered having many fun times with his brother playing _Mario Kart 64, Super Smash Bros., and Mario Party 2._ Of course, he then remembered all the times he had won-and his brother had lost, which was every single time. Kazuma was highly skilled in any type of video game, and he also had his amazing luck to boot, so there was no question that he would win easily in any video game. Which then led to his brother picking up the _Nintendo 64_ and then throwing it out of Kazuma's bedroom window, and he never attempted to buy a new one again.

It was then Kazuma realized why he didn't have that many memories about his _Nintendo 64_.

"So Kazuma, do you see any games in there, that I can play first?" Aqua asked.

"Just give me a minute…" Kazuma continued to search and search for any possible game that could be in the package. There was actually a lot of bubble wrap in this package, most likely to protect the _Nintendo 64_ ; or at least, that's what he figured. Normally, you don't really see that type of thing in the console's packaging, but he didn't think much of it.

"C'mon Kazuma! Hurry up already!" Aqua urged. Kazuma was _this_ close to simply knocking her out with his fist, but he was still in a good mood so he decided to let it go.

He sighed. _"Honestly, and she called me a child earlier...wait…"_ Kazuma took out one of the bubble wraps that were inside the package.

"Want something to play? Here have this." Kazuma tossed it in the air, and Aqua caught it in a flash.

"W-What do you think I am? I'm a Goddess, and you expect me to enjoy popping this-" In the middle of that sentence she accidentally popped a bubble, and immediately felt excited.

She giggled, and started to blush. "Oooh! This is really fun!" And thus, Aqua, despite claiming she wasn't a child, started to pop the bubbles on the bubble wrap, in an excited fashion-not once stopping.

Kazuma clicked his tongue. " _Wow, and I thought Darkness and Megumin were easy…"_ He continued moving the _unnecessary_ amount of bubble wrap and other pieces of wrapping that were in the package.

He then thought back to his younger brother once more, and wonder just what he was up to now that he wasn't in his life anymore. Maybe he was happy that he didn't have to put up with a brother who just lived in self-indulgence. He could simply ask Aqua, or hell even Eris, about the future of his younger brother, but since Aqua was in the surface world along with him, it was likely that she didn't know much either, and the only way to talk to Eris would be to die, and well, that was something he wasn't too fond of doing.

He...wondered if his brother even missed him at all…

"Hey, why does Kazuma look so sad?" Megumin asked, staring at Kazuma with concern.

Kazuma noticed this, and quickly rubbed his eyes. "I-I'm fine. Perfectly fine, why don't you go and help Aqua with the bubble wrap. You are well…you know..."

"What? What are you trying to say!?" Megumin asserted.

"...oh?" After tirelessly searching, he finally found something all the way at the bottom of the package. He took it out of the package, and it was indeed a cartridge.

"Oh finally! You found a game!" Aqua made sure to pop one more bubble before pushing it onto Megumin's frail body; which caused her to yelp in surprise.

"W-Why did you give it to me?" Megumin cried out.

"Because you're well...you know…" Aqua went over to Kazuma in a hurry.

"Aqua you too? Sure, I may be the youngest one here, but that doesn't mean I like to-" Just as she was saying that, Megumin, popped a bubble off the bubble wrap, and then immediately felt a rush of euphoria.

"W-Well, I suppose popping two wouldn't hurt." She popped another one, and then began to get even more entranced in the activity.

"O-Oh my goodness! This feeling! I feel like every time I pop a bubble it feels like my explosion magic!" Megumin, completely absorbed by the bubble wrap, kept popping more and more bubbles, and chanting 'Explosion', every time she did it.

"So, Kazuma, what game did you find?" Aqua asked.

"Oh, well I didn't look at what-" He then noticed Megumin; captivated by the process of popping bubbles of the bubble wrap. Even Darkness was excited as well, as she was watching Megumin play with the bubble wrap.

"Umm, what the hell is going on over there?"

"Don't ask, just what we were you about to say?"

"Oh, I only saw the back of the cartridge. I have no idea what game this is." Kazuma then turned the cartridge around, and saw something that he had just recently thought of. It was a copy of _Mario Party 2_.

"Aww, that game…" Aqua said with a nervous look, and then Kazuma gave the most evil looking grin, she had ever seen from him yet.

"Oh really…" Kazuma sneered.

 **Oh man, just what is Kazuma planning with the copy of Mario Party 2? Will he plan to play a round of Mario Party with his friends? The answer to your question...well duh, what else do you think I would write him to do?**

 **I'm sorry! Don't get mad at me! I'll admit it, I got a little cocky, please don't hurt me!**

 **Also, sorry if this was too long of a chapter, I had so much I wanted to do with this intro, and wasn't sure how long I should write it out. I feel like I got everyone in character...but I'm not too sure...let me guys know if want to read more! :)**


	2. II - Petty Fights & Winner's Demands

**DISCLAIMER:** _ **I do not own any of the franchises I mention and reference in the entirety of this fan fiction, and this goes for every other fan fiction I have on this profile as well. I'm doing this merely for entertainment purposes, and because I adore the series that I am writing a fanfiction for. All franchises/series that are stated in this fan fiction belong to their respective companies and well...someone like me would never own these great franchises.**_

 **Basically a filler chapter (sorta.) until the main event happens next chapter. Don't worry it's not** _ **One Piece**_ **filler bad...I can be certain of that.**

"You want to play a game?" The three female members of Kazuma's party had asked him. After he was able to find a cartridge of _Mario Party 2_ inside the package, he had suggested to them that they play it.

"Yeah, it's been awhile since I've actually played a video game, I thought it could be fun." Kazuma told his party.

Aqua moved her hands in defiance. "No no no no no no! I'm not playing that game! I rather play a more fun game-like _Super Mario 64!_ That game is totally fun, although I could never get past the part of where you have to go through the world of all the bomb things."

"That's literally the first level of the game! How could you be that incompetent!?" Kazuma yelled.

"S-Shut up! I'm not a game loving shut-in NEET like you are!"

Kazuma snickered and looked the other way. "Don't get mad at me because you're gaming skills are just as bad as your validity as a Goddess."

Kazuma's harsh insult ended up making Aqua cry-which at this point Kazuma felt no emotion towards, neither did anyone else, as they had all been through this song and dance before.

"Wahh! Why does Kazuma keep being mean to me!?" Aqua cried. Megumin and Darkness looked at her, both concerned and annoyed. Although, Darkness's reasoning for being annoyed was that Kazuma wasn't saying harsh things to her, which we all know why that's the case.

"S-So lucky...if only I was just as incompetent as her…" Darkness murmured, with a blush on her face, biting her thumb.

" _Yeah, if only."_ Kazuma spouted in his head.

"A-Aqua, it's okay." Megumin said rubbing her back.

"Kazuma, you should really take it easy on the verbal lashings, otherwise she isn't going to stop crying." Megumin suggested.

Kazuma crossed his arms, clearly irritated. "Alright fine…" He went to pick up the package that contained the Nintendo 64, its controllers, and the memory paks, and he walked over to a runny nose Aqua and forced the package into her hands.

"I'll explain how the game works to them - meanwhile, you go and hook this up, and in exchange, I'll let you have the last wine bottle that's in the fridge."

Aqua instantaneously gave the young brown-haired man a salute. "Leave it to me Kazuma-san!" With newly found motivation, she hurried over to the television, dropped the _N64_ like a brick, and began to get to work.

" _Holy shit...why did she drop it down so hard? I'm sorry Nintendo 64 - no one deserves to be handled by some stupid Goddess."_

Kazuma had initially declared that the wine bottle he bribed to Aqua would be his this morning, after Aqua had used his tracksuit as a tissue while watching _Pokemon: The First Movie,_ due to her crying at the sad moments of the was especially during the scene of which _Ash Ketchum_ had been turned into stone by _Mewtwo_ and _Mew._ This resulted in Kazuma giving Aqua a red bump on her forehead, and her reasoning for using the tracksuit was that it was 'urgentbusiness for a Goddess in need of coping', of which in response, Kazuma had almost choked her to death, if Darkness hadn't intervened and stopped him from doing so.

To check and make sure nothing was going wrong, Kazuma went and looked over her shoulder to see how she was doing. For some reason, it looked as though Aqua was plugging in the controller ports first, instead of plugging in the cords. Kazuma found it odd that she would start with that first-in fact it made no sense to him at all.

" _S-She does know how to set it up right…? Please tell me she does…"_ Kazuma hoped in his head.

"Kazuma, Kazuma!" Megumin chimed.

"I'm Kazuma."

"So how does this _Mario Party 2_ game play? Is it fun?" Megumin wondered.

"I'm also curious!" Darkness interjected.

"Well, you two have played board-games before right? I'm positive I've seen you two play chess together once in the mansion - with Megumin totally cheating by the way…" Kazuma taunted.

"I-I did not cheat! I simply used my amazing chess skills and claimed victory. So what if I had given myself multiple turns…" Megumin admitted while messing with her index fingers.

"That's totally cheating." Kazuma and Darkness told her.

"B-B-B-But, Darkness kept beating me...it wasn't fair…it's like she knew every move I would make." Megumin complained.

"M-Megumin, your strategy of playing the game was announcing every move you made...it was kind of difficult to _not_ plan in advance." Darkness informed.

It was quite surprising to Kazuma that Darkness was adept at playing board games at all. Then again, she was playing against Megumin, so even Aqua would somehow beat her.

Somehow.

"Darkness, I didn't know you were good at board-games."

"Well, I wouldn't say I was good, more so I played them frequently ever since I was a child. To be honest, it was the only thing I ever did for fun." Darkness acknowledged.

" _I guess when you are the noble of a royal family, you don't really get to do much for fun. Makes me wonder the upbringing of her masochism..."_ Kazuma thought to himself.

"So, these board-games you played, can you name one of them?"

"Of course! One of them I used to play with my family was a board-game called Monetary!"

"Oh, me and my family played that before too!" Megumin added.

"Monetary? What's that?" Kazuma asked. With a name like that, it almost reminded him of the family board-game _Monopoly,_ which was a very popular board-game from the world he was from.

"Well, in-short, the premise of the game was that each player had their own piece, and they would use a die to move around the board, and throughout the game you would purchase and trade property. It's been years since I've played, but the way to win was to be the only one left with money?" Darkness smiled.

" _Monetary? That's exactly like Monopoly! I thought this world would have some unique board-games, but they are literally just copy and pasted from my world!"_ Kazuma yelled in his head.

"Well, that's perfect. Since you two have played that game, then just use that as a basis for _Mario Party 2._ Basically it plays similarly to that - you pick a character, and you play on a board, and the goal of the game is to get the highest currency by the end of the last turn, which would be either by having more coins or stars than the other players." Kazuma explained.

"Which is the better currency? Stars or coins?" Darkness asked.

"Stars would be the higher currency. While collecting coins is also important - the main objective would be to have the most stars by the end of the game. The only way to obtain stars however would be to have 20 coins by the time you reach the star space. The thing is though, there can only be one star on the board at a time - and until someone takes it, another star won't appear on the board."

"Uh huh...and how do you collect coins?" Darkness implored.

"On the board, there are blue spaces that give you at least three coins if you land on them and red spaces that do the exact opposite. There are also numerous other spaces that will either give or subtract your coin total as well depending on the circumstances or gimmicks of the board. Lastly, throughout the game, there are minigames, and how you perform during them will determine how many coins you are rewarded." Kazuma explained.

"Ah I see, I get it. So basically winning these mini-games is basically the way to stay on top during the game." Darkness was starting to get how this game worked.

"So how long does a game of _Mario Party 2_ last anyway?" Megumin asked, curious as to how long they would play.

"Well actually you could set the amount of turns a game lasts. A game of _Mario Party_ could last 20, 35, or even 50 turns." Kazuma informed.

"So, we're definitely playing a game that lasts 50 turns right?!" Megumin said happily.

"Of course not! We are not playing for that long-by the time it reaches the 39th turn, we would be exhausted, and the game would get repetitive by then. I say a game that's either 35 or 20 turns long, is good enough for me."

" _There's no_ way _I'm playing a game with these idiots for that long...that could go on for hours."_ Kazuma muttered internally.

"Well anyway, I hoped that helped explain the game a bit - if not then the game has it's own tutorial mode that we could easily breeze through that goes a bit more in-depth about the rules. But don't worry, once you start playing, you'll get the hang of it." Kazuma reassured.

"So how good is Kazuma when it comes to video-games?" Megumin asked.

Kazuma gave his two friends a smug and confident look. "Heh, back in my country, I was known as 'Satou Kazuma, The King Of Games'. I was unstoppable, cunning and had always come on top." He thought it was important to give his voice a much more triumphant pitch.

Aqua, with a smirk on her face, put her hand to her mouth, and tried not to laugh. "Not only that - but he was also known as 'Satou Kazuma, The King Of Peeing Himself'."

Kazuma closed his eyes, and silently walked over to where Aqua had been for the past five minutes. Quietly, as Aqua was facing the other way, plugging in the A/V cords to the television, he sent his right hand he labeled as 'The Aqua Punisher', towards the sky, and just like anything that falls due to the force to gravity…

 **BAM!**

...he hammered Aqua's head with so much force, she was rendered unconscious immediately, before she even knew what had happened. It would seem all the times Kazuma had let Aqua off the hook today, had been building up, and her latest comment had definitely destroyed the stack of cards that had been piled on the table.

" _That's what she gets...wait, hold on…"_ Now that Kazuma had knocked out Aqua, there was no other person to set up the _N64_ except for himself.

Maybe he should've waited to knock her out, until she had finished doing what he had instructed her to do.

" _D-Dammit, so much for not having to do it."_ Kazuma moved Aqua out the way, and proceeded to pick up from where she had left off. He checked the A/V cords she had inputted into the TV, and came to see that she had plugged them all in the wrong ports.

" _How the hell do you get that mixed up!? The ports even have specific colors - for specific cords to go in! I can't believe it…"_ Frustratingly, he fixed, and put the cords in the _correct_ ports, and wiped the sweat off his forehead. Dealing with Aqua was something that made Kazuma get tired, both physically and mentally.

He examined the rest of the area, and saw that everything else was set up correctly. It was incredible to Kazuma how Aqua would mess up with inputting the wrong A/V cords, but could set up everything else right.

He was really starting to wonder if she was actually doing this on purpose.

"Alright guys, everything has been set up, now it's time to p-" Kazuma looked at the magic user and crusader with confusion. They were staring at him with eyes filled with pity. Well, only Megumin was - Darkness was upset for an entirely different reason.

"Why the hell are two looking at me like that?"

"T-That was quite the punch Kazuma...so relentless...just like that man from the television show...what a brute…no wonder you like him..." Darkness said, her hands clasped together and red faced.

"It's okay to have bladder control problems." Megumin comforted, although she was trying hard to not let out a laugh.

Kazuma clenched his fists in anger. "I-I-I do not have bladder control problems!"

"Everyone has a problem they have to deal with...no need to beat y-yourself up o-o-over it!" Megumin was trying to say that with a straight face, but she couldn't help but laugh halfway through.

Kazuma snickered. "Pfft...this coming from the little loli girl?"

Megumin dropped her staff, and her eyes looked very intense, as if she was about to commit a murder.

"What was that?! How dare you call me a child, I happen to be quite the young woman, you know. You wanna go big guy? Then let's go!" Megumin cracked her knuckles.

"Look at this girl, calling herself a woman - your body says otherwise though. After all, we all have problems we have to deal with." Kazuma insulted, with a mocking tone.

"This guy, he's really showing no restraint this time…!"

"You bet your ass I'm not showing any restraint - the other two lost causes are one thing, but don't think you haven't been on my radar! You think I forgot about yesterday? You and Yunyun using my underwear to play your dumb game of 'who can rubber-band his underwear the farthest!"

"We couldn't find anything else…" Megumin looked the other way, and tried to make it sound as believable as she could - but she forgot that Kazuma wasn't an idiot.

"That's a lie! Use your own damn underwear - don't get mine involved! And why would someone as shy as Yunyun want to do something like that anyway!"

"I lied and told her it was mine...I'm surprised she bought it…" It wasn't that she necessarily bought it, Yunyun is not a complete idiot, it was more so that Megumin had _forced_ her friend to undergo the competition.

And Kazuma understood that very well.

"That poor girl...to think she sees you as your only friend, and you call me a pervert..."

It had actually come to Kazuma's knowledge if he himself was even friends with Yunyun. Despite the fact that Yunyun was a close friend of Megumin, Kazuma and Yunyun rarely interact with each-other on a regular basis. He actually felt rather bad about that, and considered maybe paying her a visit either tomorrow or sometime this week, to check up on her. To him, Yunyun was probably one of the most normal girls he's actually interacted with.

"What's that supposed to mean? If you wanna fight punk, then stop standing around and show that you aren't all bark and no bite." Megumin challenged, as she attempted to get into a fighting stance.

Attempted. Her idea of a fighting stance, was her squatting, and doing weird hand motions.

Kazuma smirked. "Heh, what the hell is that? You have to go to the bathroom or something? I thought crimson demons didn't have to go to the bathroom."

Or so they claimed.

"We don't! And don't make fun of my fighting stance! You won't be laughing once I show you my physical prowess!"

"Heh, as if this magic brat is any good at hand to hand combat. Once my fist lands on that cheek of yours, don't go crying out _'Oh forgive me Kazuma! I was just making a joke!'_ Nope, I'm not letting that past this time! I'm doing this for my underwear, and for myself!" Kazuma insulted, while getting into a fighting pose.

Kazuma was willing to treat insults from Aqua as simple background noise - _sometimes_ (hardly ever.) However if one of the other two were to send insults his way, he would most certainly hold his ground, considering they were much smarter during an argument.

Especially Megumin.

"Come and face me you coward!" Megumin said, and went flying towards Kazuma.

"Bring it on!" Kazuma ran full speed as well. Once they reached close proximity of each-other, Kazuma cocked his left fist back-as did Megumin, and once they released…

 **WHAM!**

They smashed each-other's faces with all their might, like a predator facing off against another predator. They rubbed their fists into each-other's faces in order to get the other to back off. As they did that, they could've swore they heard a moan…

A moan…

They had looked the other way and had closed their eyes when they had punched each-other's faces, (yeah, the definition of brave they are.) so they weren't aware that their punches didn't even connect with each-other. No, they instead had crashed into Darkness, who at the last moment decided to jump into their scuffle.

"D-Darkness!?" Megumin and Kazuma cried out in surprise.

"A-As...the crusader of the party, it is my duty to stop...insignificant...f-fights…f-friends shouldn't fight amongst each-other...it is-"

She gulped mid-sentence, despite the fact that she had fists attached to her face.

"-incredibly unforgivable..." She was trying to sound serious and had a face of resolve, but it was quickly followed by a face of raging hormones and breathing oddly.

Kazuma and Megumin were incredibly concerned…

"T-That felt good Kazuma...s-so good…who knew you could pound me so hard..." She moaned.

" _What happened to stopping our insignificant fight!? Also, context! Context!"_ Kazuma shouted internally in his head.

"S-So this is what Aqua felt...h-how amazing…is this what Kazuma was actually trying to do as my punishment? Was he baiting me to come and stop their petty fight, and Megumin was on board with it too? All so that he could plant that firm and hard fist to impact my face! How c-cruel..."

" _S-She's including me too?"_ Megumin anxiously wondered in her head.

And thus, after taking two really hard punches to the face, she had fallen to the floor - unconscious for the second time of the day. She passed out with a smile on her face, clearly satisfied of what had happened to her in the past couple of seconds.

"S-Sorry…" Kazuma and Megumin both patted Darkness' head.

And to think, this all started because of harmless jokes. The four inhabitants of this mansion, obviously do not take such things lightly around here…

 **-KONOSUBA!-**

It was now 9:30 p.m. It's been an hour and thirty minutes since Kazuma and his friends had opened the package that had revealed the _Nintendo 64_. Fortunately throughout that time, both Aqua and Darkness had gotten up from their knocked out states. The three of them: Aqua, Darkness and Megumin were all sitting on the couch, in that order. Aqua was still upset at what Kazuma had done to her, and had rested her elbow on the couch's arm-rest; planted her face on her hand, and was pouting.

"I'm back." Kazuma called out, after coming back from the kitchen.

"Hey, Kazuma." Megumin greeted. It amazed Darkness on how fast Megumin and Kazuma had made up with each-other. Perhaps her theory was right on how with her out of the picture, apparently her party members can easily make up with each-other.

Her very existence must be the cause of these fights - or so she thought, which was a really _out-there_ theory, but Darkness will be Darkness. She clasped her hands again, causing Megumin to scoot over a littler bit.

"Oh, look who's back." Aqua spat, evidently not happy about him being here.

Kazuma walked over to her, and practically threw her the wine bottle he had promised her earlier. Luckily, she was able to catch it.

"Here, I did promise after all…so stop being upset." Kazuma said.

"Hmph." Was all Aqua had said to him.

" _Can't make this easy can you…"_ Kazuma sighed, and took the wine bottle away, and proceeded to hand it to her again.

"Here, I did promise after all...so stop being upset you _'amazing'_ goddess." Kazuma made sure to sound as monotone as possible when saying the 'amazing' part.

"I knew you would come to your senses Kazuma! You should praise me more often!" Aqua quickly took the wine-bottle from Kazuma, and proceeded to hug it with an excited blush on her face.

" _Do more impressive things like a Goddess should do, and then I'll be bowing to you."_ Kazuma walked in front of the television and sent a fist into the air.

"Alright! Now that we finally have the damn console setup, let's now talk about what the winner gains in winning this game of _Mario Party_!" Kazuma sneered.

Aqua stood up and went from being happy about her wine bottle to quickly being angry.

"See! I knew it! You don't want to have fun, you just want an excuse to have us do whatever you want, like the pervert you are!" Aqua claimed.

"I-I would never do that! I am a man who treats his fellow female companions with the utmost respect."

" _Pfft...yeah right. That would go against everything I stand for."_

Aqua, Megumin and Darkness all looked at him with disdain. Apparently they could somehow read his mind.

"W-What, how could you all think that way of me!" Kazuma sniffled.

"How could we _not_ think that way about you Crapuma. Weren't you an advocate of true gender equality?" They all responded. None of them were going to defend him on that one - they all have experienced _certain_ events involving him and the question of whether or not he was a pervert.

Plus he has admitted to being an advocate numerous times.

"It's Kazuma! Don't call me Crapuma!" He was quite impressed with their coordinated response, but that didn't cease his rage.

"Kazutrash?"

"Shut up Aqua!" It was apparent that none of this was going the way he had intended.

"Ahem, fine, since you all want to be babies about it, then how about you guys pick something outrageous for me to do if you win." Kazuma said.

"Well, you're already standing up, just say whatever you want us to do if you win." Aqua said.

"Ahem...well if I were to win, then..." Kazuma trailed off. He was actually not too sure of what he wanted them to do exactly. Some suggestive things had come to his mind, but he decided to let them off easy this time, and think of something else.

Yes, Satou Kazuma had a better plan...

"Let me guess...you want us to be your slaves or something for a month." Aqua complained, looking the other way, clearly not interested.

"Not quite." Kazuma said in a low voice.

"What?" Aqua blurted out, a bit surprised.

"If I win...then I'm going to order you guys to be better!"

"...what?" They were all perplexed.

"What the hell does that mean!?" Aqua snapped.

"Yeah, I don't understand…" Megumin said.

He pointed to all of the girls in the order he had said this information. "Aqua! I will make you get rid of your stupid party tricks and have you learn actual useful skills! Megumin! I will force you to learn other magic skills! And Darkness-"

"Yes! Yes Kazuma!? What will you order me to do!? Act as your meat-shield!? Become your slave in the bedroom!? Make me wear embarrassing outfits!? Become your slave in the bedroom!?" Darkness got up from her seat, and had clasped her hands excitedly.

"-I will call you Lalatina for a whole month."

As if her entire world had been shattered, Darkness dropped down from her excited state, and plopped back onto the couch-as if what he had said was like a bullet straight to her heart.

"Y-You wouldn't…" Darkness murmured with a flustered face.

"Hehehe...don't underestimate me, I've done it before! Well, those are my demands, what does everyone think?" Kazuma said, with his arms crossed.

"Those demands are outrageous! I can't get rid of my party tricks! They are very important to me!" Aqua argued.

"Unless you give me actual concrete reasoning as to why party tricks our useful to our team's dynamic, then there is absolutely no way you are keeping them! I don't even know if it's possible to get rid of skills, but I _will_ find a way!"

Aqua started to cry. "K-Kazuma-san, you can't do this...I love my party tricks..."

"Aqua's right! How dare you make me learn other magic tricks, 'Explosion' magic is the only one for me. It is the pinnacle of any type of magic spell!" Megumin proclaimed.

"It's useless if you can only use it one time! Granted, the spell is exceptionally powerful, but it should only be used for last resorts! If you had other skills, then you wouldn't be tired just after one shot!" Kazuma argued.

Megumin pouted. "I can't believe this..."

As well as Aqua. "Stupid Crapuma..."

Kazuma, still with his arms crossed, got really close to his party member's faces and gave them a sadistic and smug look.

"If you don't want to suffer the consequences, then you better pull out all the luck and skill that you could possibly have and try to beat me - if you can that is!" He said, and then started to laugh maniacally. Initially, he was just going to make them all wear bikini costumes for an entire month - but he was getting a much better result here.

"B-But why do you have to call me Lalatina! How does that help me get better?" Darkness asked.

"It'll help you get better at being called that…" Kazuma said. In actuality, he couldn't really think of a way for Darkness to be a better party member, without it taking a long time. After all asking Darkness to stop being...Darkness was easier said than done. And helping her accuracy get better would take a long time as well.

"You should be glad - I would say between the three of them you have to suffer the least. Your punishment is practically temporary." Said Kazuma.

"That doesn't make me feel better! Oooh...Kazuma, I'll get you for this…" Darkness angrily declared.

"Heh...then win…" Kazuma walked over to to the other side of the couch, and sat down next to Megumin.

"Alright, who's next?" Kazuma asked, and automatically, Megumin had shot her hand upward, accidentally hitting Kazuma in the process.

"Oww, oi, calm down!"

"Oooh! Kazuma! Kazuma! Can I go? Me!? Me!?"

"Ugh...go ahead…" Kazuma allowed.

He sighed, it was literally like dealing with a child, who would sometimes surprise him on how weirdly smart and composed she can be at times.

Megumin walked over to the center of the room, and struck a pose.

"I am Megumin! And as for my fellow party members, I will demand something so amazing, that it'll leave you all stunned. Whatever I demand, will make you all feel sorry for your existences, and make you question whether or not playing this game was even a good idea-"

Megumin brought her cape close to her face. Yes, it was important for her to stop mid-sentence in order for her to pose again.

"-once I've given you the conditions I have set for this event, you will be crying for mercy once I'm done with explaining my dem-"

"Hurry up already!" The party members yelled.

"U-Umm right. So uh, if I win then uh…"

It would seem as though Megumin was at a lost of what to say. She was so caught up on her 'grand' speech, that she never considered what she wanted these people to do.

"Huh, actually I don't know what...I guess maybe...you guys can make me food everyday for a month…?" Megumin guessed.

The three of them looked a bit confused at what she had said.

" _Huh...I was expecting more..."_ Kazuma thought to himself.

"Umm, I don't mind that actually." Darkness said.

" _Hmm...if she were to win...it wouldn't actually be that bad."_ Considerably, he knew Aqua and Darkness would have very intense demands. So, if he perhaps were to ally with Megumin during the game, then the odds were definitely in his favor.

However, as if she knew what he had been planning, she just had to open her mouth.

"What? That's it? Think of something better than just that." Aqua urged.

"Are you an idiot? You must be! If you feed her that information, then she's just going to make us do something even worse! Keep your mouth shut!"

"I agree with Kazuma, it's not like she'll think of something in the next couple of seconds that'll make her demands even more unbearable." Darkness smiled.

"Oi! You're really pushing it with that one! That'll definitely trigger a flag!"

Megumin snapped her fingers. "I just thought of something!"

Kazuma crossed his arms and slid farther in his seat. "Ugh...we were so close..."

"If I win then...I want to go to the Magic Film Arena!" Megumin announced.

"The what?" Kazuma asked. He glanced over to Darkness and Aqua who looked like they were going to be sick.

"Eww, you wanna go to that dumb show!? We have a television now, there's no need to do such a thing, besides, that show sucks anyway." Aqua explained.

"It's not dumb! It's my favorite play of all time, and it's very nostalgic. I've always wanted to go and see the show with friends!" Megumin gushed.

"Is it really that bad?" Kazuma questioned.

"Well, the premise of the whole Magic Film Arena, is that it's basically a play that is shown in an arena, and it's essentially just an all out brawl between all types of magic users, in the form of a story." Darkness answered.

"Wow, that does sound...wait...that actually sounds really awesome!" Kazuma beamed.

"See! Kazuma understands!" Megumin pointed to him in agreement.

"Well, what he doesn't know is that, it's filled to the brim with terrible one-liners, and over the top and cliched characters, that you'll hear talk for almost five whole hours. It's a terrible, _terrible_ experience for almost anyone." Aqua explained.

Kazuma grimaced. "C-Crap, I take that back. Hyperbolic lines for five whole hours? You gotta be kidding me with that...no wonder _she_ of all people wants to see it so badly…how scary..."

Flustered, Megumin moved her hands frantically. "S-Scary? So what? I-I see it as a guilty pleasure."

"To make matters worse Kazuma, there are numerous childish puns that characters will say throughout the entire narrative. It's honestly very...tiresome." Darkness whispered, while sweating.

If Darkness was not for this show at all, then clearly it was something _really_ bad.

"Ugh…how awful...I guess it is aimed at children after all...and here I was actually excited for it." Kazuma grunted.

"Stop calling me a child! Fine then, since Kazuma wants to be like that, then while Aqua and Darkness will take me to see the Magic Film Arena, I'll have something _special_ for you!"

"Whatever, as long as I don't have to go see that dumb show...then I'll do anything else."

"I can't believe we have to go to that stupid show! This is all your fault Kazuma!" Aqua blamed.

"Me!? You're the one who was like _"That's it? Think of something better than just that."_ You're the one who asked for it, don't put it on me!" Kazuma shouted back.

"If I win, then Kazuma is going to have to become my pupil, and follow in the arts of 'Explosion' magic!" Megumin declared.

"W-What!? How are you going to single me out like that!? And why would I want to be your dumb pupil. I'm the one who essentially trains you in your 'Explosion' magic!"

"Well, you've heard of the saying. The student will eventually surpass the master! Plus it'll be fun! With two 'Explosion' magic users on the same team, we can be known as the 'Explosion Busters!' What do you think? Cool huh?" Megumin nodded, as she had her eyes closed.

"About as cool as your name…" Kazuma muttered.

"Urgh...ah whatever..." Megumin went back and sat back down on the couch, clearly disgusted with Kazuma.

"Be glad…since you didn't want to see the movie...I-I would think you at least prefer that. I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do." She had said, flustered.

Kazuma had blushed in response. _"W-What the hell? Now you want to say such lines!?"_ He was actually feeling guilty about what he had said he would have Megumin do, if he were to win.

"Kazuma! Kazuma!" Darkness cheered.

"What is it?"

"I was wondering if I could go next."

"Hey! That's not fair! That would mean I would go last, and I'm a Goddess! I'm going next! I have to go next!" Aqua fumed.

"Aqua shut up. Darkness go ahead." Kazuma said, as if he was dealing with three-year olds.

It was now Aqua's turn to cross her arms, and slide down her seat. "Tch...stupid Kazuma. When it's my turn, I'll show him the true wrath of my omniscient powers."

"I can hear you."

"Shut up!"

Just as Kazuma had instructed, Darkness got up from her seat, and stood in front of her party-members.

"Well...what do you got for us?" Kazuma asked.

Silence was his answer, as Darkness just stood there and did not respond at all.

"Hello...Darkness…?" Kazuma perplexed.

"Are you okay, Darkness?" Megumin asked.

Then suddenly, while no one else was expecting it, Darkness had pointed towards them and had made a triumphant stance.

"I declare that we all...go on quests every single day! Oh even better! Let's get up at 7 in the morning! Then we'll really feel the rush!" Darkness announced, in a very excited manner.

No one said anything for about a few minutes.

"Umm...well okay-" Before Megumin could finish her sentence, Kazuma had sat up from his seat immediately.

"Well, let's cancel this whole wager thing. I suddenly have lost interest so…"

"Don't be like that Kazuma! That's incredibly unfair!" Darkness cried.

"He's not wrong! I need my beauty sleep! And it's always cold in the morning!"

"For once...I agree with Aqua! I refuse to do any more quests! Not after dying from the last two we did! If you think I'm going to deal with this routine if you win, then you are sorely mistaken!"

Darkness suddenly got herself into a proper posture, representing her position as noble.

"But Kazuma...I'm doing this for the sake of the party. You are all weak physically, in comparison to me. I think it's very important for us to start training ourselves, in case we get into some real danger. Don't you think so? What if some unknown force were to come to the mansion, and we struggled against that foe? Our lives are at risk here if we don't prepare ourselves for the inevitable, and I believe it is imperative that we make sure we are ready for anything that comes our way."

Darkness place her delicate hand on her chest, and had an earnest smile.

"By winning...I want to make sure my beloved friends are able to defend themselves."

"Darkness…" Kazuma and Aqua said. Maybe they were going a little too far in just denying Darkness's wishes. Perhaps she really was all for their safety…

"...also...we get to face monsters! Monsters! Slimes! Dragons! Who knows!? Kazuma! If we get to go on quests every single day, then we'll be in quite the spectacular situations! I'm just getting excited just thinking about it! I can't wait to see the monsters will we encounter, and -"

As she went on, all Kazuma and Aqua could do was just stare at her...completely dumbfounded.

" _How did we fall for that so easily!?"_ They thought to themselves.

Darkness hummed to herself and plopped back into her seat.

Megumin glanced at her with a nervous smile. _"H-Heh...I mean, this doesn't really affect me in the slightest, considering I like going on quests."_

And with that, almost all of Kazuma's party had announced their demands for winning (thank god…). All that was left was...

"Alright Aqua...finally you can…"

Before Kazuma could even finish his statement, Aqua was already putting her wine bottle aside gently, and had skipped to the center of the room, and had a face of delight.

"I just thought of something really amazing for you guys to do if I win! Wanna hear it? Wanna hear it?"

"Yes." They all replied in monotone.

"Okay! If I win…"

"What...you want us to praise you more?" They all had said in unison.

"I want everyone to join my cult!" Aqua smiled.

Kazuma, Megumin and Darkness all gasped at what she was about to say.

Kazuma even laughed out of denial. "Y-You don't mean…really...you don't mean..." His voice was drastically changing into a tone of sadness over the course of that sentence.

"Yeah! The Axis Cult!"

Everyone, albeit Aqua, had a face of sheer terror. They all remember the nightmare they had to go through during their vacation to Alcanretia's hot springs. They thought the trip would last forever, if they had to go through dealing with the people of that Hell city.

Kazuma and Megumin, upon reflex, hugged each-other out of the horror of what would happen if Aqua were to win the game of _Mario Party._

"A-Are you nuts!? How could you say such a thing!? I _hate_ those people! They are literally the worst!" Kazuma croaked.

"Not the detergent...not the detergent…" Megumin was still traumatized of the detergent they were selling there. She was literally shaking in Kazuma's arms.

"It's okay, Megumin. There are three of us, and one of her…there is no way she can win easily. Don't worry, we'll get through this tough time in our lives." Kazuma consoled, as he ruffled her hair.

"But to suggest something so scary…I thought we finally got away from those people..." Megumin quavered.

"Only someone as stupid as Aqua would declare something so horrible!" Kazuma accused.

"Kazuma is right! That is horrible!" Darkness confessed.

"Yeah! You tell her Darkness!" Kazuma ordered.

"If I joined the Axis Cult, then I wouldn't be able to endure their abusive ways of me belonging to the Eris Cult! How cruel…"

" _Is that really all you are concerned about…?"_ Kazuma and Megumin thought to themselves.

"C'mon guys! My followers can't be _that_ bad!"

Kazuma and Megumin looked like they wanted to die inside.

"C'mon...you guys can't be serious…" Aqua said.

"That's because they are! And you want us to join and socialize in their hell community!? I am not going to be apart of it!" He argued. As for as he's concerned, the citizens of that city are just personified Aquas, with a lack of self control. Thanks to them, he could no longer trust little girls anymore.

"He's right! The deterge-I mean people of Alcanretia aren't sane at all!"

Aqua, in a mocking manner, crossed her arms and looked at the two with a highly confident and smug look.

"If you don't want to suffer the consequences, then you better pull out all the luck and skill that you could possibly have and try to beat me-if you can that is! Isn't' that right Kazuma?"

Kazuma and Megumin understood her message very clearly. If they didn't want to face the _hellish_ consequences that were displayed on the table, then they were going to have to give it absolutely everything they had in order to make sure she is never in first place.

"Oi, Megumin. We cannot under any circumstances let her win, is that clear?" Kazuma whispered.

"O-Of course, if Aqua were to win...then it would surely be a p-problem." Megumin said giving him a thumbs up, still shaking.

"Hey, let me in on this too! We can't let her win! It would be a great disaster..." Darkness chimed in.

"I'm sure if the three of us band together when she is in first place, then are chances of winning go up to 75%, it's foolproof!" Kazuma assured.

"Hey! What the hell are you guys talking about!? If you are thinking about teaming up against me, then don't bother. As a Goddess, no matter what you do, I'll be the one to win." Aqua said, as she snatched a controller.

"For someone who can't even get past the _Bob Omb Battlefield,_ then I highly doubt it." Kazuma said as he picked up his controller.

"Did you say bombs!?" Darkness said, excitingly picking up her controller.

"A battle between friends in a game filled with hectic mini games! What more can someone ask for?" Megumin said, as she picked up her controller.

And so, here begins the game of _Mario Party 2,_ between the four individuals of this household. Satou Kazuma, Megumin, Darkness, and Aqua will all go through the craziest, most hectic, insane, and jaw-dropping game of _Mario Party_ ever. There will be betrayals, alliances, and straight up pure luck madness...

...if one of them would get up and turn on the damn console.

"I-I'll go turn it on…" Darkness sheepishly said.

 **Whew, I was actually trying to make this shorter and get this out quicker, but it ended up being relatively the same length as the first chapter. Well whatever that's...cool I guess. Well stay tuned for the next chapter...which might take a while...but hey...it'll be worth it right? No? Well I guess so…whatever, I don't care...lol…**

 **...okay maybe I do...but let me know what silly adventures these guys should do once this Mario Party business is over. I wouldn't mind having some ideas…**

 **Anyway...am I going to pair anyone up? I mean...canon-wise I feel like Kazuma should get with Megumin, but I don't know, I didn't really intend to have any actual romantic development in this fanfic. That might change though.**

 **Also, just want to thank you guys for all the reviews, favorites and follows, for my recent fanfictions, like this one and my "Simple Game" fanfiction. Really makes me feel 'the' good inside. Sorry that was bad...didn't mean to add that 'the', I thought it would be funny...**


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